The Power of Words
February 4th, 2010 § 50 Comments
A short time ago, my life took a huge, sharp turn off the path I thought I had all but planned out pretty well for myself. Scary as it may sound, it was a welcome detour not for the scenery but rather for the company I had with me. I met someone who I thought was very wonderful and it was pretty clear he thought the same of me. Our journey together was no casual stroll in the park – it was more like an intense all-out run. One that is challenging in the moment – but rewarding in so many ways. Since the path was new, it opened up my eyes to many things. Among them, the possibility of life changing so much, the possibility of achieving the my dreams in a new exciting way and the probability of having someone to share it with.
Three days ago, I quickly found myself looking over my shoulder realizing I was running alone. When I turned back around I ran full force on to a sheet of ice and slid into a brick wall.
When I came to, I was back in the place I knew so well – the path I was walking down before my run.
When I came to, I was crying for the first time in as long as I could remember. I was holding my head in my hands trying to make sense of it all. Trying to explain it to myself, my friends, my family, my heart. I wanted a do-over. I wanted a hug. A drink. An explanation.
After I got over the initial shock of how I found myself single again – the irrational way in which someone else’s decision was given to me without a say – I began to dissect the conversation. I tried to connect the points made and make some sort of sense for myself why and how it had happened.
One reason he felt we were “on different levels” really bothered me.
“And the whole blogging thing. I don’t get it.”
Let me make a few things clear about that (as I am sure some of you are outraged that was a reason to end a relationship.) While I never rearranged our time together to blog, I am constantly connected to all things Internet through my phone (Twitter, Facebook, Emails, Blog). For as many times as I put it on the opposite side of the room to avoid the blinking red light of my Blackberry and the ping! that meant a new message, I was also sneaking in glances at times when I should have just let it be. I was constantly having to hear remarks about how “I wasn’t myself without my Mac,” which is not true at all. There’d be many nights we’d spend together that I didn’t even crack it open. And for those of you who aren’t regular readers, just look at the sporadic schedule of my posting recently. Granted, I have never posted every day, but my blog has not received the love I vowed to give it January 1st.
When I told those close to me – friends, blends and family alike – this was a reason for the breakup, they were shocked. Writing is the craft I am skilled and educated in. It is my passion and my hobby and something in which I hold a talent in. Right now, this blog is the only place I have to hone and practice that craft and skill. How could someone who seemed to get me not get me at all?
The words of encouragement from these people – and from some I didn’t even expect – floored me. It’s no surprise as I told you all a few posts ago that when I’m down, I’ve got those friends who are below me if only for a second to gain enough room to pick me up and bring me back to where I need to be. The calls, emails, texts, g-chat conversations, Skype dates and hugs have meant so much.
In less than 100 hours, I am doing better than I thought I would. I am coping at such a different level than I would have had this letdown happened a year ago.
I’m looking at this occurrence as a reminder to myself. A reminder that what I’ve stumbled upon – this blogging network of 20-something life, healthy living and food bloggers – is one of the most wonderful occurrences in my life. The network is not only one of shared interests, but one of support and love like I never could have imagined. This occurrence is a reminder that what is important to me is not to fill up my Google Reader with blogs and Tweet and comment to my heart’s desire, but to give back the support, encouragement, laughter and friendship that so many of you have given to me. And to write. My goodness, isn’t it about the writing?
Blogging has given me confidence. It’s taught me to be open and candid and as honest with myself as I am with others. It’s pushed my thought process outside its comfort zone and challenged my ideas and knowledge. It’s something that he just didn’t get. Because he couldn’t. And here’s what: that’s OK. It’s acceptable. It’s life. Thanks to the advice of a wonderful friend, I now know – and I want all of you to know – that if someone can’t value and appreciate you for who you are this second they don’t deserve you for one second.
As with any relationship, there are many lessons – ones that I have learned in a few short days and many that are waiting for me down that familiar path. The point of writing this post is not to point fingers and be outraged and expose someone’s actions. After all, the only people who truly know a relationship are the ones who are in it. The point is to share a story in which I am gaining so much more than I thought I would lose if I found myself here.
If you ever find yourself discouraged because someone doesn’t “get it” – and by “it” I mean your passion – I hope you’ll remember this story. I hope you’ll know that sometimes life – and what you’re made of – can shock the hell out of you. I hope you’ll believe that there’s a force greater than you and I guiding you through the straightaways and detours of your path. And I hope you’ll smile. I know I am.
“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
beautiful post, babydoll. you are so wise and mature in your few years!!
i know that you will come out of this so much stronger… writing will always get you, will never leave you. you have such a gift and it would be such a shame to let it go. I know I’d be sad! don’t cheat on the blog with a maaaaaan!
aww beautiful post
your hair-seriously amazingly gorgeous!
awwww i’m sorry you’re hurting Caitlin! just keep on being true to yourself, keep writing, and you’ll be fine- with or without someone else!
[...] are a blogger yourself, it is hard to understand that passion for it. Take a moment and check out this incredible post by my friend Caitlin on the power of words. How has blogging changed your [...]
Beautiful!
No apologies for passion!!
Love this: if someone can’t value and appreciate you for who you are this second they don’t deserve you for one second. -so true!!!
Woooah! I’m glad you’re dealing pretty well with this change. The food/healthy living blog thing is a crazy network and I’m so glad I stumbled upon it too. I hope you’re doing well and just try to remember that you never know what’s going to happen and your life could just completely change (and become your dream) in so little time.
Hi Ms. 25th,
Love the post. So happy you have found your way into my wife’s (and therefore my) life! Never stop be your amazing self! Never lose your passion!
Jessica’s Husband – proof there are good guys in the world. that support passions. all passions.
Jessica’s Husband gives us hope
This is a fantastic post! You are a gifted writer.
Your passion is who you are… it’s what makes us… never stop persuing your dreams
this is a beautiful post with such a beautiful message. i feel like this should be the motto of every woman in a troubled relationship: “if someone can’t value and appreciate you for who you are this second they don’t deserve you for one second.” well said.
I just jumped over here from How Sweet Eats and love this post.
You rock. That’s all
Girl, this post, and you = awesome. The wonderful part about the not-so-wonderful parts about life is that the teach us so much, and allow us to reconnect to who we are and what is important to us. Your passion is palpable! The “blends” are what make blogging fantastic, in my opinion
You are clearly a strong person and will come out of this difficult situation a better woman. Stay strong and be YOU.
On a side note.. I want your hair.. absolutely gorgeous.
AND yes, butternut does often look fake..lol. Thank goodness its not!
[...] This post from Caitlin is so good. Filled with truth and a great reminder to never apologize, forget, or hide from [...]
Jumped from How Sweet it is… I wish I could express how this post has helped me put a few things into perspective about my own life. Thank you. Keep smiling your beautiful smile!
any guy who breaks up with you and uses blogging as a reason….good thing he did it now. You REALLY don’t need to be with someone who cannot understand your passion! My .02 cents from the peanut gallery
I just recently found your blog and love it, you have a way with the written word
Also, I love this quote: “that if someone can’t value and appreciate you for who you are this second they don’t deserve you for one second.”
So true.
Beautiful post, dear. I can’t wait to meet you in person next Month!
No one should ever give up who they are or things they enjoy to be with another person. The right person will “get” you 100% and you will never have to apologize for being you.
This is an awesome post. It is so great that you have an outlet that is keeping you in one piece, even if your heart does not feel that way right. I love it when bloggers (and anyone, really) puts their emotions and true feeling out there for everyone to read. It abandons the idea that you are the perfect people. You feel pain, too. It makes you human and relatable. Keep being such a strong woman!
I’m sorry to hear about all of this, but I want you to know that I too am so blessed by this community! We’re there for each other and we love you, Caitlin!!!! This was an amazing post, you have such beautiful talent- KEEP WRITING.
I think we need to need to get together for another 3 hour brunch, what say you?!
Oh, and I wanted to tell you earlier that I love your curls!!!!!
This post was so beautifully written and eloquently stated. I can 199% relate to everything you’re going through and I’m grateful more than words can say for this community, even though most of the people in my real life “don’t get it”.
Thank you for this.
And, for what it’s worth, sorry for what you’re going through. No matter how much we understand and accept the end of a relationship it is still a difficult time. My thoughts are with you.
He is a LOOHOOO-SERHER. Said in a Jim Carrey voice. At least I think that is who said that?
Anyway, this is the best post I’ve ever read on ALLL the blogs I read and you know I read a shitload. But I am serious! And obviously it is true since Mr How Sweet commented, too.
If he ever tried to make me give up blogging, I’d castrate him. Point being – find someone who loves you for you. You deserve it!
Very well put!
You have to take care of yourself first, since you’re the only person you’ll have to BE with forever. When you’re taken care of, others will be attracted to your light. You’ll know from now on when someone is good for you or not.
Glad you’re smiling
So, so much wisdom here.
It can be hard to unplug, and for people who are decidedly NOT plugged in, our interweb lives can be hard to understand. You seem to fully understand that blogging/writing… if it is a part of you, is important! And worthy to be loved!
Your smile shines. xoxo
Caitlin don’t ever give up on your dreams. You are a wonderful writer and I can tell just reading what you write how much it means to you. No one is worth giving up something you love so much.
Karen
P.S. Laura will probably think I am a dork for commenting on this.
I found your blog tonight on accident. Normally, I’m a foodie blog kinda girl … but your story really touched me. You are so right, never forget about your dreams and your abilities & don’t change them for anyone else! I wish you the best of luck & look forward to following your blog! {you have a great way with words}
~Emerging Domesticity
This is a GREAT post! You are a strong woman – and you are adorable
keep your chin up! i love your writing..stay strong!
Gosh…blogging and dating…it’s a struggle! In college, I met a guy who was also my “full out run” (I loved that analogy, by the way) and despite it ending in a brick wall for other reasons (um, other sorority girls), the one thing I will always be happy about is how much he LOVED that I blogged. That’s what gives me faith/patience when I meet guys who don’t “get it.” Everyone who loves me gets it. Total strangers get it. If a guy doesn’t get it? Like, no…we’re done. I’m SO glad you discovered this and shared your story…ugh, eventually we’ll all meet guys who understand they should probably just Tweet with us if they want more attention!
omg…oooooo eeeemmmmmmm geeeeeeeeee!!! yes, jessica said it correctly! LOSER!
your post was beautiful and very inspiring! i wish you the best and i am quite sure there is someone out there who will def appreciate your beautiful self for who you ARE!!!
and yes, your hair is GORGEOUS!!!
i found your blog by chance but will continue to read!!! xoxo
i GET it. you rock and will find a man who “gets” it, too.
Great post!
I totally get it. Sometimes my boyfriend gives me a hard time about blogging and vlogging.
That’s right I blog and vlog on youtube so it does take a lot of my time but he GETS it. Sure sometimes he gets annoyed when I check my phone too often but You WILL find someone who gets it. This is your PASSION! Live it:) xoxo
Well put. I totally agree. Being a single lady myself, I just put my faith in the fact that one day the right one will come along and embrace me and my quirky blogging self. Until then, I will be single, having fun and BLOGGING of course.
*hugs*
I’m sorry it had to happen that way
But you are so courageous to move on and keep writing and do what you LOVE to do. I can’t wait to read more 
I completely agree…although it might be tough, you have a very positive attitude!
what a lovely post!
I am so sorry. I can empathize with this a lot. My husband gets EXTREMELY resentful of the time I spend blogging, reading blogs, cooking, etc. He makes snide comments and even asks me to put away my phone if we’re watching a movie or something. I’ve really had to scale back my blogging time because maybe it was taking away from us. However, I have clearly explained to him that this is something I LOVE and have a true passion for, and that I will not give it up. We’re learning a balance, but it’s hard. I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I “get it” and…*hugs*
What a fab and honest post! Im a single girl too (and still in high school) but sometimes I worry that what if no one “wants me”. I just have to remember that some guy out there will love me for me and my crazy blogging addiction
Love your blog!
It’s who you are, and you shouldn’t apologize for loving a hobby! It sounds like you have a wonderful support system, and amazing people in your life. Keep your chin up!
Jess (How Sweet) told me you are running the Pittsburgh Marathon! I’m doing the half, and would lvoe to get a group together that weekend
Wow great post. You’re an excellent writer and I truly admire your work. Everything happens for a reason …
I’ve heard of the gel things for the bottom of your foot, but never for the toes?! I’m gonna have to check that out. And, yes, I would be lost if I wasn’t busy!
Thanks for visiting again!
Wow- what a great post!
Keep smiling. Life is good – the good guys who “get it” are out there. I’ve been where you are, and 4 years later, I’m so thankful for the ending of a relationship that opened the door to meeting my amazing husband.
You are a fabulous writer! I look forward to following!
[...] pretty private about my blog, because a lot of people in my life “don’t get it“. But when someone I’ve known for a long time reads it and likes it, it makes me [...]
I have way too much to say to this. I can’t contain it in a comment. We should talk over email, if you’re not all talked out about this yet. I realize I’m late in posting… but I’m still around if you want to chat.
[...] few of Heather’s favorite posts by Caitlin can be found here, here, here, here and here. ENJOY. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)The Prime [...]
I just re-read this. I still love it just as much as I did before. More so, now that I ‘know’ you in real life.
MUCHO LOVE!
[...] Oh and remember that terrible breakup I went through in January? The one where he said he wanted to end it because I blogged and he just didn’t “get it”? [...]