Possession
August 26th, 2010 § 36 Comments
Do you know who Rachel Wilkerson is? Have you read her blog? Laughed (hysterically, I might add) at her videos? Felt empowered that you are a woman?
I have. Rachel is one of those people who isn’t afraid to say what she thinks and stand behind her word. She’ll come to your side if ever you need support and she’ll keep you on your toes with the array of subject matter that she writes about daily. She’s witty, sassy, sexy and smart. Dare I say she’s like Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie ALL rolled into one? Well, I just did. I own it.
Speaking of, those three little words: “I own it,” make for one powerful statement. Yesterday Rachel wrote about owning it. I suggest you go read the post. Seriously. Everything I want to say about being guilt-free and ridding yourself of fear, doubt and insecurity is there and in so many more of her posts.
And since she’s letting me, I’m going to borrow this little number:
And let you in on a few things.
See, ever since I read Jenna’s Confessions of a Food Blogger I’ve been thinking to myself, what confessions do I have to make? What things would I say if I had all my readers and this community in a room with the promise that they’d never tell?
When I read Rachel’s post yesterday, I thought, “Screw the room, push down the walls, it’s time to get real.”
I totally believe in the separation of personal life and blog life. There are many aspects of my life that don’t need to be public and many parts that I don’t want to be public. There are however things from the past I have said that my actions since have contradicted.
Remember when I told you I spray tan a lot? I didn’t go overboard voicing my views on UV tanning but I didn’t exactly praise it either. Andrew credits me as the reason for putting a halt on his overly tanorexic lifestyle. Carrie pleaded with me not to ever step foot in a tanning salon again. I know the potentially harmful side effects. I know that it increases the risks for skin cancer tremendously.
I’m tanning again. In a tanning bed. Sorry I’m not sorry.
This is a recent thing for me and it goes beyond the need to feel good about myself at a cosmetic level. My skin has been suffering through some changes this summer and tanning helps to alleviate it. I know the difference between somewhat normal and going overboard. I don’t need a lecture on why it’s so bad. I get it. I know. I feel better and that’s all that matters.
When I was in Nashville, I made a materialistic purchase. Some might say that goes against the restrictions of my Summer Spending Challenge. I say it was a souvenir. Sorry I’m not sorry.
When I took Chase (Visa) out of the freezer, I used him a few times. They weren’t large purchases, but – wait no, ya know what? Sorry I’m not sorry.
Oh and remember that terrible breakup I went through in January? The one where he said he wanted to end it because I blogged and he just didn’t “get it”?
Well, he also broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with him.
Sorry I’m NOT SORRY. I own that decision and I love myself even more for it.
You might think I just went a little too personal there. I own that and I’m OK with it. If it’s “too much” to share on a blog, I’m content with going against the grain.
In the same respect, I refuse to settle for anything less than what I truly deserve. No relationship is perfect, but no woman should ever be made to feel like they are inferior to their man. Am I picky and selfish here? If I am, I don’t care. In the words of Marilyn Monroe: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
I love Jesus. I have a strong faith and I love church. But at times, an F-bomb slips from these lips. I own that.
My thoughts can be stereotypical and my judgments are passed too quickly. I sometimes don’t give people a chance beyond a first impression. I’m working on that and I fully admit it’s a flaw. I own that.
I picked up and moved half way across the country with no “real job.” I’m working part-time for the same company I worked for in Pittsburgh, but I took a severe pay cut.
I am absolutely joyous to have the ability to have free room and board and only work part-time for the first time since high school. Some may call me privileged and they’d be right. Hell, they might say I’m spoiled to have this opportunity when so many others struggle to make ends meet. Sorry I’m not sorry.
I’m giving myself a mental break. Physical space. Leisure to pursue my passion. Downsizing stress and responsibility.
I own it.
If you’ve asked me for advice in the past and I’ve given it repeatedly yet you still continue to fall into the same pattern, part of me has written you off. Same goes for unreturned emails, ignored phone calls and when you don’t listen to me while we’re having a conversation. I respect the right to have your own opinion, make your own decisions and live a hectic life. You should respect mine, too. Sorry I’m not sorry.
I’m choosing to own it. To not be sorry.
Can you do the same?
Is there something you’ve been holding back for fear of what others think??
I’m joining Rachel and inviting you to take charge of something in your life – via blog, email, conversation, etc., and finally own it.
Take it from me – be free.
It’s kind of like a new pair of boots. At first it might be hard to put them on. Walking around in them might feel unnatural, stiff.
Walk around just a little bit more – as soon as they start to break in, you’re never gonna wanna take ‘em off.
Caitlin. I love this. I love you for getting real and putting it out there and owning it. Love, love, love it + you!
Loooove it.
Know what I own? I freaking HATE vegetables. Yes, I HATE THEM. And I also hate almond butter. And overnight oats. And all kinds of disgusting shit that “healthy living bloggers” eat. Barf.
Hmmm… not surprised that the above is all about food. I need to get a life.
Oh, and I love tanning too.
The end.
haha I love this.
I got CHILLS reading that! Damn, woman!! I need a cig.
Gotta say- this post is awesome on all levels.
Way to own it!
I tan for shallow reasons. And I won’t apologize for it.
Nice job owning it girl. MAJOR LOVE your way
This is a perfect example of taking ownership…love it!!!
Yikes! You deserve an Owning It crown! Awesome post…. Truly, truly awesome.
I feel ya on the not doing full-time work (well, I work–I just don’t get paid and I don’t care) and on NOT answering emails and calls if I don’t feel like it from some people. Just because we have access to people 24/7 in a gazillion ways doesn’t mean we have to be at the mercy of them. There’s a line to be drawn and I’m so glad you (and I, and so many others) can own it.
I can’t get enough of this. You are a total rock star. Own it, giiirrlll!
Get it girl!!! =)
This is a totaly awesome Owning It post! Thanks for your honesty and openness. It’s always nice to see other Christians on the web who are well aware that they are not perfect (and drop the occasional er… frequent… F Bomb)
Great post! And here’s mine:
After working 5 yrs in fast food cleaning really gross dishes, I’m sorry that I’m NOT sorry for doing dishes at home. I just can’t stand looking at left over food waste any longer!
BEST POST EVER Caitlin!!! love it. hold on to that confidence. be you. avoid guys and people who don’t respect you, because they don’t deserve you. There is too much pressure to be perfect in this world, and even among the blogs, and I wish everyone could have your wisdom and self esteem to just be themselves!!
Awesome post. I just confessed and it felt good!
i <3 you.
I need to see a picture of the boots. Boots in a bag does not cut it for a shoewhore like myself.
That is all.
Caitlin, this post is FANTASTIC. I love how honest and open you are – your amazing personality shines right through.
This is exactly what I’ve been needing to hear regarding some things I’ve wanted to say on my blog but have been too afraid to. So THANK YOU for inspiring me.
You are so totally and irrevocably AWESOME! There is nothing more inspiring than courage in a woman! Way to stand up!!
You owned so much, and that’s amazing! I love it!
My respect for you just sky rocketed!! And it was already ridiculously high. I love that you “went to personal” and OWNED IT. It’s who you are and I think it’s amazing and I think that you inspire so many people through your words.
I love you dearly. I OWN THAT!
Caitlin, I LOVE this post. I love how you “owned” all of this and just didn’t care what people would think. I own the fact that I’m married and my mom still does my laundry. I also own the fact that I enjoy every second of my summer vacation and do whatever I want for 10 weeks.
You are very inspiring!
Picture me giving you a standing ovation right now. That’s how I feel after reading that post. Fabulous! I love that you own your faith. What an important thing to own. And any guy who only deems you worthy if you sleep with him isn’t worthy of that affection. You rock!
[...] thanks to a certain blogger friend’s wise words today, I’ve decided to just be honest. As she said, it’s all about owning your feelings and [...]
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!
and I have mega respect for you for not giving into your boyfriend. YOU ARE AWESOME!
“There are many aspects of my life that don’t need to be pubic”
I know this was a typo, but I still giggled when I read the word “pubic”
Love this indepth look at you! You rock!
Oh my goodness, how embarrassing! I just fixed it – thank you!
Yes! I think many of us fall into the trap of being “over-sorry-ers”. It’s important not to apologize for who you are as a person. We’re people, we make mistakes, but we also have personalities that we should NOT apologize for. I love the message that we should “own it”! Be proud of who we are and what we have done! Great message!
I love this! It’s an awesome post! You rock and are totally awesome.
(Oh and p.s. that guy’s an ass)
[...] — Possession…I got chills when I read this. It was like I could just feel how much she wanted to say these [...]
as I’m sure I told you that night we got our drink on down on 6th street, I adore you. this is amazing.
Caitlin,
This is the first time I’ve ever read your blog and can I just say you’re AWESOME!! Great post and GREAT attitude.
Lady, THANK YOU for owning it. Until we all start living a “Sorry I’m not Sorry” life, others are owning our decisions instead and that is not how we roll.
caitlin! once again you wrote a rock your socks post!!! kudos to you for ‘owning’ it….and just letting it all OUT!!!! i admire your ‘no shame’ attitude….and for being so honest with all of us! that is why we love you!!!
too many times, people act like they are living a perfect little life….and too many times, they really are not!
thanks for putting ‘life’ into perspective….we are not perfect….nobody is! xo
Hi Caitlin,
I’m a new reader to your blog. This post was link to one of the blogs I have on my reader (sorry I have forgetten which one).
This is the first impression I have on your blog, and I must say it’s a great one…I like to own a few of what you’re written above. I’m planning my wedding and I have a lot of “Sorry I’m not sorry” moments.
I enjoyed reading this post, now off I go and read the rest of your blog.
~Lea
Awesome job, dearest. You rocked this one. xoxo
[...] to apologize for inviting this kind of silliness into my universe, but like my friend, Caitlin, wrote about the other day [...]
[...] would be the uber-talented and absolutely hilarious Rachel Wilkerson, a friend who has taught me to own it, made me laugh and more importantly, made me think and want to be better. She has a wealth of [...]