Inventory
September 20th, 2010 § 13 Comments
Before I get into anything here, I just want to extend the most sincere and warmest thank you that is possible to send out across the Internet, into the many spaces of it that you all occupy. The support on my last post was amazing and unexpected. I always say how much of a blessing this community is and I mean it! You all are such a light in my life.
Now, onto something else that brings me so much joy and light – my faith. It’s been awhile since I shared a story from my pastor and that’s partly due to the fact that I don’t live in Pittsburgh any more. However, I do have the ability to watch one of the services streaming live on Sunday. As much as I’d like to actually find a home church here, every Sunday I find myself pulling up a cup of coffee to my laptop and tuning in. Not once have I regretted it.
This week, my pastor spoke about something I think we could all put a bit more focus toward. There were many relevant points in his message but the resounding theme was this: audit your life space.
What does that mean? It means something different to everyone, I suppose. In general, it means take a look at what’s in your every day, and that not only means your relationships, your job, your family and your peers, it means your mindsets, your attitudes, your behaviors, your emotions.
How many of them are preparing you for the next promotion in your life? Again, think outside the box on this one – “promotion.” This doesn’t necessarily mean a job. To me it means the next higher level of something you really want in life.
On the opposite side of the spectrum – how many of those things are weighing you down? My pastor compared it to boarding a flight. Before you can even head down the jetway, if you’re carrying on luggage, it has to meet a weight requirement. If it exceeds the maximum, you have two choices. You can either empty some of its contents or you can pay a higher price to check it.
I don’t know about you, but I hate baggage fees (sorry Southwest does not apply to this lesson) and I will do anything in my power to keep my bags light and able to fit in the overhead compartment, even if it means forsaking a pair of shoes or a third pair of jeans for my 2-day trip.
When it comes to life, then, why are we so headstrong in packing it with so much unnecessary weight? Everyone’s answer to this is again, different. For me, it’s because I have suffered from Superwoman Syndrome far too many times in my life. I wanted to do it all, be it all and still maintain some pep in my step. I had a high-stress job in management, often times working well over 40 hours a week – and it was no 9-to-5 job. For the better part of the last year I was training for a race. I tried several times, and to no avail, to foster a romantic relationship. I agreed to every lunch date, every night out, every social opportunity. I absolutely loved my time in Pittsburgh, don’t get me wrong. But I was burning out fast. I had anxiety through the roof, I couldn’t sleep at night, so many days and nights were filled with tears. I thought the only way for me to be happy was by way of a well-paid job, a planner full of activity and a phone that never stopped ringing. I prayed and prayed and asked for a sign – my promotion – and my move to Texas was the answer.
It’s been quite the slow down here. I’m only working part-time. I run when I can. I have very few social engagements to commit to. I’m certainly not looking for any relationship right now.
It’s not been easy, but I asked for this. It’s my “norm” for now.
I evaluated my life space and I got rid of the extra jeans and shoes in my bags. I freed up some space, handed over my boarding pass and took my place in seat 13A – because you know homegirl ain’t payin’ $25 each way to check her luggage.
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Groceries, you got it. Nailed it on the head. You just have to clear out all that stuff in your head and let the universe rush in.
Slow down and learn to let go…. That’s the biggest thing that I’ve learned. You have to put number one first before you can help anyone else. You have to be your best SELF.
xox
Another great post! I loved it. It really related to how I was feeling today.
This is a beautiful post, and it absolutely resonated with me. Thank you, and thank you to your pastor for such an enlightened illustration.
Have I ever told you how amazing you are. I literally walk away from each of your posts feeling so understood and enlightened. Sometimes so much so that I CAN’T comment because my thoughts are all over the place. But… I love you and your blog. I think you know this, but I felt the need to reiterate.
I know exactly what you mean about “superwoman syndrome”! I used to be a nanny and work 40+ hours a week, go to night school, cram in time for exercise and a social life. My stress levels put me in the hospital with an anxiety attack. I couldn’t sleep, I was constantly moody..and I hated my job more than anything. They didn’t appreciate me and I thought “If only I could just not DO this anymore” And why can’t I?! There are other jobs out there! So I quit. I graduate in 2 months with a degree in Nutrition. I sleep better, I exercise on my own terms and I LOVE what I do. My relationship is a better one because of the switch. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think it’s sort of engrained in us to want to be and do everything, but that’s just not possible. Even the people that ARE that way, are sacrificing in some way or another. I think it’s great that you realize your goals and what you want in life
Great post.
It’s so true – people aren’t happy with too much on their plates. Simplicity brings joy.
This analogy is so awesome. I have this debate with myself constantly. Lately I came to the understanding that “no” is a word I need in my vocabulary much more often.
I read this multiple times yesterday but all I could think of was how I wish I could slow down. Still wishing the same today!
have you ever considered a career in like, counseling….or social work…..maybe psychologist?!?
anywhosies, your posts, inspire, enlighten, refresh and bring out so many different emotions on so many levels.
thanks for being YOU!
p.s. i gave you a little award on my blog….. :O)
xoxo
well I am sure glad that you took that road. Hope to be part of your “norm” more often friend.
i am so glad i stumbled upon your blog recently-i’ve really enjoyed reading
also, i am not sure of your faith background or if you’ve visited any churches here, but we (my husband and i) have been going to a church here for the past 4 years that we really love. i’d be happy to you more about it or answer any questions if you want to email me (jbmallinson@gmail.com). this is the website: http://www.austinstone.org. we meet at SFA high school of of ceasar chavez/mopac. it’s big-which isn’t my ideal church-but the teaching, people and community really makes up for it. anyway-seriously don’t hesitate to email me if you have questions. i also know of several other great churches in the area.
Thanks for that post! I can completely identify… sort of the story of my life over the past year as well! I’m currently working at “decreasing the weight of the baggage” as well. In fact, my first post on my blog is dedicated to that mission (http://promises2myself.wordpress.com).
Keep plugging away! Keep the faith! “For in time, we shall reap the harvest if we do not grow weary”
[...] all about moderation and enjoying life, but I’ve let that be the excuse for too long. I evaluated my life space and this is one of the things that has to go. Perhaps this realistic attitude, then, is what makes [...]