New Digs
April 25th, 2011 § 3 Comments
Day 114
Yesterday marked the first service in my church’s new building. Over 300 people came out to celebrate Easter and join in worship. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I love this church. I love the people, the community, the stories, the way we all come together and get things accomplished. The way we all have a shared passion for our faith and Jesus. It’s completely changed my life, especially in the last six weeks. I could not be more grateful for what it’s brought into my life. For the first time in eight months, I feel purpose-filled.
The new building is a drastic change from the elementary school gymnasium the church had to set up and tear down in each week. In just six days, walls were repainted, new carpet was laid down and new chairs were brought in. It looks fantastic. The photographer in me also wants to let you know the lighting is pretty great, too, but I’m hoping you picked that up already.
If you’d like to check out the rest of the album, check out my studio’s Facebook page!
Sight
April 13th, 2011 § 5 Comments
Day 103
I’ve been spending my morning editing photos of this cutie pie, and I just had to share the story behind this photo. This was a very candid shot taken inside a stone tower at the sight I held a shoot a couple weeks ago. At the top of this tower was an opening to the bright blue sky. The most perfect white streaks of clouds gently floated by. The lighting was gorgeous and the shade was a welcome break from the beating sun. It was picturesque and perfect. I pointed the opening out and said, “Did you see that? See, Gracie, up there – look!” She did, then without missing a beat, brought her hands over her eyes and said, “Believing is not seeing.”
Her Mom was walking toward us, her son in tow, and said, “That’s right, honey. What is that called?”
“Faith,” she replied.
I can’t even tell you how big my smile was. I beamed like a proud Mama Bear. In fact, I’m surprised my expression didn’t just take flight right off my face. Kids are so awesome, I thought.
Then, without missing a beat, I said to myself, I have the best job in the world.
Thought for Sunday
April 3rd, 2011 § 2 Comments
Day Ninety-Three
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life! – Proverbs 13:12
Sundays
March 20th, 2011 § 6 Comments
Day Seventy-Nine
I know I’ve talked about my faith countless times. Today’s post is not meant to go on and on about how amazing my relationship with God is. What it is meant to do is reflect on the power of prayer. I believe in it when it’s done wholeheartedly. When it’s more than just a laundry list of things you’d like to happen. When it’s for the goodness of others; when it’s to become less like yourself and more like Him. In the five months since I’ve found my church here in Austin, so many amazing doors have opened for me. I prayed for guidance and a place to feel like home and I’ve found it. I prayed to find friendship in others who were like minded and I found it. Friday evening about a dozen women got together and shared a meal. What happened at that table was nothing short of awesome – and I mean that in the truest sense of the word. Some married, many with children and of course, the token single girl (not that I’m complaining) talked about our faith, our lives and our loved ones. My world was opened up to others, and theirs unto me. The group got smaller and we took our evening to a coffee shop for more conversation. As I sat back and listened, I couldn’t help but say a prayer of thanks for God leading me to such a positive and powerful way to spend my Friday evening. There have been countless others where I could not say the same.
This morning – as with every other Sunday – I look forward to spending my time in prayer with my church family. I love the lesson this day of the week always has in store for me. I love walking out of a place having learned and thought and challenged myself to be better. And whether you’re spiritual or not, I can only hope the same for you in some part of your life.
Rhythm
February 21st, 2011 § 2 Comments
Day Fifty-Two
I can remember the prayer.
Please, God, let Pastor Curtis be preaching that day. I really need to hear him for myself again.
It was last month, I was headed back to Pittsburgh for a visit. I’d packed my schedule tighter than a can of tuna with visits, breakfast dates and celebrations. And as much as I love my faces and the hearts that resonate with mine in that chilly steel town, the event at the top of my list was attending church.
If I could, I’d go every day. This may seem like an outlandish idea to many. Heck, it would seem absolutely strange to myself three years ago. But I get a lot of confirmation, hope, grace and answers from my spiritual leaders. Ain’t no harm in that, friends.
Sunday morning rolled around and we rushed to make 9:30 service. I took my seat in that familiar pew after lingering hugs and smiles so big they hurt my cheeks. The choir began to sing – that beautiful, soulful choir that stirs up emotions in me. I sang, I clapped, I beamed.I grabbed Carrie’s hand to my right. I grabbed Andrea’s hand to my left, squeezing. Beaming. Cheeks hurting. Happy from the inside out. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was glowing (and not from the tan, either.)
When I realized that it would be Pastor Curtis preaching, I felt relief rush over me. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say this morning, I thought.
He spoke about troubled times – the seasons in our life when things are tough and we question why we’re being put through them. He said even as a pastor, he goes through them, too. Struggles, he said, are often seen as bad.
Have you ever been in a hospital? Seen a heart monitor? he said.
When that heart monitor rises and falls, signaling a heart beat – that’s good! It’s when the line goes flat that we start to panic; something is wrong. We’re dead.
Can’t you see then, church, that these rises and falls in life are what let you know you’re alive? You rise, he said motioning one hand up while holding the microphone in the other, and you fall, he said motioning back down. That’s how you know you’re alive.
Of course this is all paraphrased – I wasn’t sitting there with a recorder. But the lesson is the same. It’s one that has stuck with me for an entire month. That image up there has been embedded in my mind. When I trekked my suitcase through the snow and lugged it into Carrie’s trunk with a heave, I thought about it. When I dumped the contents of my bag onto the floor before the line at security in search of my ID, I pictured it. Through hugs, goodbyes, take-offs and landings, it was there. When my schedule returned to normalcy and the haze of what day is it? I feel like I never left clouded my mind, I closed my eyes and there it was.
Last night back in my own church, I placed my hand on my chest. My heart was racing. I’d spent time earlier that day and the night before emotionally distraught. I was feeling a complete isolation – like it was me vs. the world. I’d cried out, “Why?” so many times, casting my eyes upward as hot, fat tears welled and dripped onto my cheeks.
It wasn’t until I was in church last night that I stopped asking why and reached up to my chest for the answer.
Rise and fall, rise and fall, I felt.
I’m alive.
Calling Out
February 20th, 2011 § 2 Comments
Day Fifty-One
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my my reflection; What it is I see when I look at myself; what others see; how my reflection is an image of God; how it’s not. None of us are perfect here, but I’ve been struggling a lot lately to keep my focus on my faith, my passion and my number one priority – myself.
Does this sound like struggles you’ve been facing, too? I feel like for whatever reason, a lot of us are going through a struggling season right now. I’ve been taking some steps to keep standing firm and I want to take this week to focus on them. If there’s something particular you’d like to seen discussed here, please comment below or feel free to shoot me an email. You can reach me here: thetwentyfifthyear [at] gmail (dot) com. It doesn’t have to be about faith, religion or spirituality, either – just anything on your mind! I’m feeling called to get involved this week with this amazing community and looking forward to it!
Gotta Have Faith
December 21st, 2010 § 17 Comments
I realize that we all aren’t on the same page here. We’ve got our own agendas and our own belief systems. We’ve got life down and we’ve got it figured out. Suggestions are welcome, but only if we’re in the mood to really hear them. Otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself.
I know you’re busy but can I ask you something? Can I ask it hoping you’ll pull up a chair to my table and have an open mind? That you won’t fly off the handle, jump to conclusions or form opinions without really thinking about what I have to say?
OK.
When did religion get a bad rap?
Seriously. Clear your mind of what end of the spectrum you’ve got your feet firmly planted on. Forget the extremists, the drawn-out services, the traditions, the riots, the separation of Church and State.
Why is it such a big deal to be proud of your faith? When did it become customary to raise an eyebrow when “God” or “Jesus” passes over the lips of someone in conversation?
Perhaps it’s because the very idea of faith and religion is worlds away from what it was just a year ago in my mind. Perhaps it’s because I’ve met and let a lot of unfriendly people come way too close to my heart and my life and I now know there’s more to the world than just them.
Perhaps it’s because I’m growing, grown, older. Perhaps it’s because I care to listen. I care about more than just myself. I want to be better, live better and surround myself with people who have those same goals.
I’ve found them through church.
What kind of thought does that spark in your mind? Do you think it’s weird? Do you think I’m a freak? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you think it’s dumb?
Can you identify with that? Can you understand it? Do you care to?
Do you think it’s “cool” but pass over it, like a box of Cheerios in an entire aisle devoted to cereal? Another flavor. Another day. It’s just faith, after all. You’ve got your own belief system – and it’s working out just fine.
I was the same way.
Having been raised Catholic, religion felt more like an obligation than anything else. Sunday mornings – and later Wednesday nights – were devoted to an hour of Sunday School and an hour of church. By the time I was in first grade, I could recite the entire mass right along with the priest. Stand up, sit down, kneel. Communion, confession, sharing the sign of peace, hymns and homilies. One blurred into the next.
It’s not that I didn’t care. I just didn’t care. Do you know what I mean?
Now, it’s of an importance to me. It’s something that has pulled me through a really tough year. It’s given me light in what felt like an eternally dark room. It’s proven itself time and time again to always be what picks me up when everything else has let me down.
Yet, I still find myself the recipient of the quizzical stares, the five seconds of silence, the cookie cutter “that’s nice” response.
If it’s not that, it’s an intense debate. A series of questions fired off by a spiteful tongue. Furrowed brows, cut-off sentences and defensive comebacks. It almost feels like they have the right to come at me, but I have no right to stand behind what I believe in.
Maybe these people find religion to be cheesy. Perhaps they can’t believe that something as simple as prayer and a book that’s thousands of years old can change a life. After all, it’s 2010; we live in a world webbed in wi-fi where our laptops and smart phones defy all odds. Tell me then, when life gets down to the wire, when you’re at the end of your rope and it feels like you’ve got nowhere to turn, is there an app for that? Does inner peace come from your iPhone, your credit card or your 42” high definition television?
I’m not trying to push a religious agenda on you. I’m not trying to convey that you should even attend church or pray or believe in God. It’s just something that has worked for me even after spending two decades not really getting it. I’ve been a witness to the pushy preaching. I pushed it right back. I’ve listened to the radicals who believe if you don’t live without sin, you’re damned to hell. I’ve read about extremists who protest and riot. I know there are people out there who will write you off if you don’t believe in the exact same thing and who look down on anyone who does just one thing wrong in their book.
I’ve dealt with them in the best way I know how – with an open mind. I’ve interjected my opinion when it’s asked, but I’ve taken it for what it’s worth and walked away. I didn’t get angry. I didn’t get hostile and start yelling. I didn’t call them stupid. I let them have their say because I believe that’s the respectful thing to do.
Despite that, I know what it’s like to get turned off by people and situations like that. I also know there is a completely different side to faith; one that accepts you for who you are or what your past entails. The people you’ll meet that are real people. They don’t sit at home and read the Bible every night – they lead exciting, normal lives. They are at your grocery store, sitting in the same movie theater, stuck in traffic at rush hour. They get angry and mad and sad and frustrated and happy. They live the same life you and I do, and it’s not a perfect one. In a word, they are me. And you’re coming here to read what I have to say, so I have to assume you think I’m cool, or nice, or smart, or something. But you don’t think I’m a freak or an agenda-pusher.
Do I think it would benefit the non-believers if they shared the same beliefs I do? Absolutely. If they came to me, seeking advice, I’d tell them and encourage them to pray and ask for guidance. We’re all self-proclaimed experts in something, right? Why can’t mine be titled, “How faith changed my life”?
So, I’m just wondering, then, why is it OK for you to clamor on about your fantasy football team, your frequent flier miles, the four-star restaurant you had dinner at, the latest episode of “Real Housewives,” who won “Survivior,” your latest celebrity crush, your boyfriend, your engagement ring, your wedding plans, your 401K, your birthing plan, your volunteer work, your intermural soccer league, your training runs, your baking skills or Sunday Night Football without me asking, “Why?” or harshly voicing my “I don’t believe in that,” opinion. Yet, when it’s my turn to talk about something I enjoy and love, too often that’s exactly where the conversation goes.
In lieu of a “good tidings and cheer” Christmas message, that is the question I’m posing to you instead.
After all, you wouldn’t spend your Saturday morning in leaps and bounds over the latest gotta-have-it-gadget or designer handbag if it wasn’t for religion. So tell me, when did it get a bad rap?
Le sigh
May 20th, 2010 § 14 Comments
Imagine me taking a big, deep sigh as I sit down to type this. It’s loud. And probably drawn out, border line annoying and right in your ear.
OK. Now. For the words behind that sigh.
I have been in a funk lately. If you’re a regular visitor, reader, friend, blend, etc., it’s been pretty obvious through my severe lack of posting that something is up. Now I will commit the two biggest blogger annoyances. I will tell you that I am sorry for my lack of posting (and also my complete withdrawal from your blogs, but more on that in a minute) and I will also tell you there is a reason for all of this and it is a reason I cannot share here.
How rude is that?!?! I know, I know. But just know that there are reasons beyond listing here why I cannot just let it all out. Please believe me when I tell you I’d love to gather all of us together around a big table and just spill what I have been going through over here. In a perfect world, I totally would. Then after we cried, hugged and laughed through tears (the best emotion IMHO) we’d go dance to Lady Gaga and everything would be OK. In reality, though, the little table we’d gather ’round? It’s got ears and eyes and by that I mean Google. We all know the power of the Internet and the ease of finding things out if you know what to look for. So for now, things have to stay unknown to you. Just know that I am healthy, my family is healthy and I am not disappearing from blog0sphere and your lives forever. Also know that if you’re the praying kind, giving a shout above in my name is greatly appreciated as I have found more strength in my faith than I ever could have imagined. There is power in prayer y’all.
I’ve done some exciting share-worthy stuff since I last wrote and I promise I’ll get to it. Promise. For now, I just wanted to let you know I am, in fact, here and I miss everyone dearly. It may be silly to post this and I hope you don’t think it’s simply for self-validation. Rather, I love this community and what it’s brought to my life. I love what each of you bring to me every day. I love reading and commenting and supporting all of you. And just like if you were my gal pals around the corner or down the hall, I’d like to think you deserve a little hello and an explanation from me. This one isn’t very exciting and quite broad at that, but I know you understand. I plan to clear out my 1,000+ Google Reader, finish regrouping and join the party just as soon as I can.
I leave you with my daily read. (Thank You Heather)
James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
The Salad Dressing Theory
February 17th, 2010 § 13 Comments
Well here we are, half-way through the week and homegirl has yet to make an official appearance on The Twenty-Fifth Year. Imagine me taking a huge *sigh* right now. I know, and I tend to beat myself up over the close/long-distance relationship I have with my blog. You see, I have worked quite a stretch without a day off due to weather and the like. Today is the first time I am not driving to work in 10 days. I am by no means complaining, I count my blessings every day I have a job I enjoy and that affords my lifestyle. However, as you can imagine, I am slightly exhausted.
I have a lot planned for today – the first of two days off in a row- including hot yoga at my favorite fab studio. I am using today as my “cross-train” day on my half marathon training plan that I have so graciously stolen from the lovely Morgan (who will be running the Pittsburgh half, too!)
I impressed myself with a 4.0 mile run on the treadmill last night after deciding two miles into it that I was going to quit. I kept looking at the clock and thinking, “No. You’re already here, you might as well do another mile.” Before I knew it, I was clocking in at four! I haven’t ran that far since November so I am very happy I am right on track with my training schedule. I feel like a real runner now! By the way, when I am feeling discouraged I totally channel other bloggers/blends and think, “What would they say if they were on the treadmill beside me and I wanted to stop?” It’s one of the many motivational tools (read: head games) I play with myself on my runs. What do you do to psych yourself out of quitting early?
In other news, I wanted to share with you a wonderful concept my pastor shared with us this Sunday in church. I am not here to preach on anyone, so take this however you’d like.
Oftentimes when we experience a hardship or a “shake up” in our lives, we are confused and frustrated as to why God/the universe/etc. is doing so. Whether it’s a struggle financially, in a relationship, in our family or at work – we want to move as quickly as possible from the struggle to the sunshine. We can feel like we are being punished or cursed for having to endure an unpleasantry.
My pastor explained these times in life by drawing a comparison to salad dressing. When you go to pull an oil-based salad dressing off the shelf to use, you can see the separation – the “good stuff” is on the bottom. Chances are you don’t simply tip the bottle over and pour it out, you shake it up. With the shaking comes the mixture and you get the good stuff.
Think of that bottle as your character. Sometimes the good stuff settles to the bottom. God/the universe/karma/whatever you believe in simply doesn’t pick you up and flip you over. He/it takes you in its hand and shakes you up because there is something inside you – the good stuff – that needs a little movement to come back to the surface.
Think about that for a minute. I can guarantee that there is some facet of your life that is not exactly peaches and cream right now. You’re probably (heck, always) working through something that poses a challenge. You’re being shaken up. Take the negativity and frustration you associate with this and know that you are lucky! Yes, lucky. Something out there – whatever you believe in – sees the good in you and they only want you to shake you up and share you with the world’s salad!
The best thing about these shake-ups? It’s often where the next blessing lies. Having trouble making ends meet? Your blessing lies in a financial gain. Feeling blue post-holidays because you celebrated them solo? Your blessing lies in a companion on the horizon? Frustrated with your work load, your current position or your boss? Change is gonna come.
I love this theory and, of course, can apply it to so many situations I am facing right now. These words from my pastor – as they do every week – inspire me. I hope they inspire you, too. Kind of a fresh way to look at the not so pleasant times and parts of life, no?
Have a little faith in me
October 14th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
Hello again! I want to stray from the fitness/training/running theme of my last few posts and talk about another facet of my life that I am spending a lot of time focusing on in my 25th year – my faith. I actually started exploring it about a year ago when I went to services at a few non-denominational churches. Now, you should probably know that I was raised Catholic. Not strict Catholic to the point where I went to a private school, but I came from a generation of that and a very devout grandmother. She worked hard to raise her six children up in a home filled with faith and continued to share her devotion with her many grandchildren. There have been many times throughout this last year when I have wondered, maybe even worried, what she’d think of me straying away from her beloved faith.
I wasn’t questioning my faith, or even looking to try something different. I kind of stumbled upon it, and being someone who’s very open to new things, I started attending.
Here is how I see it. The rituals of Catholic mass are deeply rooted and the service itself is beautiful. But I can’t help but feel that week after week, it’s the same thing. Sure, the scripture readings are different, the songs change, but the mass is more or less the same week in and week out.
What I like about the services at these non-denominational churches is that they are not predictable. They have order, sure, but I couldn’t sit down in the pew and recite the entire mass word for word with the preacher. (And I know every Catholic knows exactly what I’m talking about) When it’s time for the “lesson” or to read scriptures and reflect, I feel like I am getting so much more out of it. Priests and pastors alike do their best to tie the Bible’s meaning to today’s life, but for some reason I find my mind drifting away in Catholic church. I feel no energy, no inspiration.
Last night, I attended yet another service outside my Catholic upbringing when I accompanied a friend to a revival at a Baptist church. I originally went to attend a Bible study, and when she told me the schedule had changed, I said, “What’s a revival?” She laughed and explained to me that it was just like a regular Sunday service. Friends, I am not going to lie, when I heard the word ‘revival’ I imagined people jumping around, going crazy screaming praises and healing the sick – like something off an evangelistic TV show.
The service was certainly not the quiet, calm ritual of a Catholic mass. There was singing like I have never heard, beautiful voices of a choir 50 strong. People were clapping and dancing and singing and praising and crying, talking right to Jesus and God while the songs were sung and the Bible was read. There was a pastor there who read scripture and preached with more fire and passion than I have ever seen. He brought those words right into 2009 and made the lesson to be learned a real thing. I honestly felt like he was speaking to me. It was amazing.
I am a very passionate person. Having stepped away from the writing world – my passion and what I feel in my heart I was born to do – I felt like some of that passion has died. Like what was once a big burning fire, was slowly being burned down into embers – maybe even out completely. Last night that fire might as well have had kerosene poured on it and a match thrown its way. The time I spent there rejuvenated me. For anyone who feels that way at this very minute or ever, I truly hope they find that way to ignite – and believe me, it doesn’t have to be church or God or even faith – and they welcome the fire. I’m pretty sure Gram would have wanted nothing more.
