Phun With Photos
July 5th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Day 185
Do you remember those photo booths they used to have in the mall where the picture looked like someone sketched it and you could chose from Leonardo Da Vinci or Rembrandt to “paint” your photo? When I grow up, I want one in my house. For now, apps on my iPhone and editing software will just have to do.
Free falling
August 23rd, 2010 § 13 Comments
Since I have more than once thrown myself into the “healthy living” category in blog world, I was actually going to post about something health-related today. Instead, I’ll save that for another day. If you’re interested in reading more than just my random musings on life, though, check out Healthy Living Blogs a website designed to enhance the positive community of the healthy living blog world that I am a member of. Last I checked it was over 700 blogs strong!
This morning I was reading through a thread of messages on Facebook between eight of my girlfriends from high school. Since we are living in several different states now, we periodically update each other this way and before we know it, there’s a thread is over 30 messages long. Everyone is at completely different points in their life – one is married with a little girl, another is married and remodeling her house, another just had a baby, three are in serious relationships and three of us are single. There have been so many times since we graduated that I’ve had a big moment of realization around just how much change each of us has endured in different ways and at different times, and yet we all still maintain a very strong friendship. For that, I consider myself to be very lucky.
This morning, one of my friends was sharing her decision to quit her “real job” and instead work full time at what used to be her part-time job. She had been considering going back to school for her third degree but decided against it when she realized her heart may not be fully into it. Then she said something that resonated with me.
“It’s weird; I have nothing – I have nobody, don’t have a real job, but I’m happy. I just think that it’s amazing that we can still have these threads and let each other know what’s going on. We may not talk everyday and all of our lives are changing so much with babies and weddings and live-in boyfriends and serious boyfriends and ‘the ones’ but we can still at least have these threads. It makes me happy.”
I don’t know how it’s possible to feel even closer to someone who’s over 1,000 miles away. I never imagined I could feel more ingrained into eight lives that I already considered to know as well as I know my own, but somehow I do.
Aside from it being a comfort to me as I come to fully realize what a physical distance I’ve put between myself and everything I know and love, what she said made me think a lot about happiness.
I know I’ve talked a lot about it. I’ve talked about my pursuit of it and knowing what I am doing will bring it to me. I know a lot of bloggers talk about happiness and how it relates to health and well-being. I know it’s something we are all in constant need of. It’s something that takes a different shape in every mind that formulates an opinion of it. Lately I’ve been telling myself that it’s not something that’s months or years away. It’s got to be in every day.
When my friend said she has nothing – meaning no assets, no relationship, no “dream job” – yet she is completely happy, it made me think about my own life.
Everything I own was just packed into the back of an SUV. Every relationship I have ever had is in the past. My “dream job” is still a dream I’m working toward. My closest friends are spread across the continent. Aside from my parents, my family is, too. Where does that leave my happiness?
Sometimes I think we feel like happiness can only be found in the shape of something that’s attainable but out of our grasp. “If I didn’t have a terrible boss,” “If I could just get that promotion,” “If I didn’t have so much debt,” “If I had a boyfriend/girlfriend,” “If I ever get married,” “If my kids would just behave,” “If we could just stop fighting,” “..then I could finally be happy.” How easy is it to fall into that trap?
I fall into it all the time. I keep feeling like there’s so many “If’s” and “When’s” right now that are holding me back from being happy. I’ve been impatient since I got here. I’ve wanted everything that I think will make me happy to happen right away.
The truth is, I’ve been so busy focused on the things that I want that I have forgotten about the things I already have and can enjoy every day that do make me happy:
- my humor
- my health
- my morning runs
- my dog
- the support under my own roof
- music
- books
- the power of prayer
- coffee
- good food
- sunsets
- the love of friends, near and far, old and new
To me, the focus now is to find the happiness in these things, and whatever things come my way with each new day. It’s kind of a freeing feeling. Happiness will certainly be there within the things I want to have someday, but the not so big secret here is that it’s in everything I already have. Now that I realize that, it’s time to dive right in.
What are your views on happiness? Where do you find it everyday and where do you hope to find it in the future?
The Power of Words
February 4th, 2010 § 50 Comments
A short time ago, my life took a huge, sharp turn off the path I thought I had all but planned out pretty well for myself. Scary as it may sound, it was a welcome detour not for the scenery but rather for the company I had with me. I met someone who I thought was very wonderful and it was pretty clear he thought the same of me. Our journey together was no casual stroll in the park – it was more like an intense all-out run. One that is challenging in the moment – but rewarding in so many ways. Since the path was new, it opened up my eyes to many things. Among them, the possibility of life changing so much, the possibility of achieving the my dreams in a new exciting way and the probability of having someone to share it with.
Three days ago, I quickly found myself looking over my shoulder realizing I was running alone. When I turned back around I ran full force on to a sheet of ice and slid into a brick wall.
When I came to, I was back in the place I knew so well – the path I was walking down before my run.
When I came to, I was crying for the first time in as long as I could remember. I was holding my head in my hands trying to make sense of it all. Trying to explain it to myself, my friends, my family, my heart. I wanted a do-over. I wanted a hug. A drink. An explanation.
After I got over the initial shock of how I found myself single again – the irrational way in which someone else’s decision was given to me without a say – I began to dissect the conversation. I tried to connect the points made and make some sort of sense for myself why and how it had happened.
One reason he felt we were “on different levels” really bothered me.
“And the whole blogging thing. I don’t get it.”
Let me make a few things clear about that (as I am sure some of you are outraged that was a reason to end a relationship.) While I never rearranged our time together to blog, I am constantly connected to all things Internet through my phone (Twitter, Facebook, Emails, Blog). For as many times as I put it on the opposite side of the room to avoid the blinking red light of my Blackberry and the ping! that meant a new message, I was also sneaking in glances at times when I should have just let it be. I was constantly having to hear remarks about how “I wasn’t myself without my Mac,” which is not true at all. There’d be many nights we’d spend together that I didn’t even crack it open. And for those of you who aren’t regular readers, just look at the sporadic schedule of my posting recently. Granted, I have never posted every day, but my blog has not received the love I vowed to give it January 1st.
When I told those close to me – friends, blends and family alike – this was a reason for the breakup, they were shocked. Writing is the craft I am skilled and educated in. It is my passion and my hobby and something in which I hold a talent in. Right now, this blog is the only place I have to hone and practice that craft and skill. How could someone who seemed to get me not get me at all?
The words of encouragement from these people – and from some I didn’t even expect – floored me. It’s no surprise as I told you all a few posts ago that when I’m down, I’ve got those friends who are below me if only for a second to gain enough room to pick me up and bring me back to where I need to be. The calls, emails, texts, g-chat conversations, Skype dates and hugs have meant so much.
In less than 100 hours, I am doing better than I thought I would. I am coping at such a different level than I would have had this letdown happened a year ago.
I’m looking at this occurrence as a reminder to myself. A reminder that what I’ve stumbled upon – this blogging network of 20-something life, healthy living and food bloggers – is one of the most wonderful occurrences in my life. The network is not only one of shared interests, but one of support and love like I never could have imagined. This occurrence is a reminder that what is important to me is not to fill up my Google Reader with blogs and Tweet and comment to my heart’s desire, but to give back the support, encouragement, laughter and friendship that so many of you have given to me. And to write. My goodness, isn’t it about the writing?
Blogging has given me confidence. It’s taught me to be open and candid and as honest with myself as I am with others. It’s pushed my thought process outside its comfort zone and challenged my ideas and knowledge. It’s something that he just didn’t get. Because he couldn’t. And here’s what: that’s OK. It’s acceptable. It’s life. Thanks to the advice of a wonderful friend, I now know – and I want all of you to know – that if someone can’t value and appreciate you for who you are this second they don’t deserve you for one second.
As with any relationship, there are many lessons – ones that I have learned in a few short days and many that are waiting for me down that familiar path. The point of writing this post is not to point fingers and be outraged and expose someone’s actions. After all, the only people who truly know a relationship are the ones who are in it. The point is to share a story in which I am gaining so much more than I thought I would lose if I found myself here.
If you ever find yourself discouraged because someone doesn’t “get it” – and by “it” I mean your passion – I hope you’ll remember this story. I hope you’ll know that sometimes life – and what you’re made of – can shock the hell out of you. I hope you’ll believe that there’s a force greater than you and I guiding you through the straightaways and detours of your path. And I hope you’ll smile. I know I am.
With a little help from my friends..
January 15th, 2010 § 14 Comments
I’d like to think in my 25 years of walking (and running, and crawling and skipping and driving and…) this planet that I’ve made some friends. My Facebook account would tell you I have 441 of them. Let’s be honest, half the reason that large number exists is because I am too lazy busy to go through and remove the people I have fallen out of touch with. But really, isn’t that the point of Facebook and all other social media – to keep in touch?
Sometimes I wonder how different the friendships in my life would be without social media and the Internet. On one hand, it would be much more of an effort – or at least a different kind of effort – to stay in touch with others. On the other, I never would have “met” and made so many connections with other bloggers or as I like to call y’all, my “blends” (blog+friend = blend. Creative, I know. Roomie came up with that after hearing me talk about my “blogger friends” all the time.)
Whether online or in person, I’ve come to appreciate the different friends I call my own that goes far beyond the “reason season or a lifetime” theory the greeting card industry has defined in so many words.
I’ve got some spectacular friends, the kind that far exceed expectations of being a good person. They are among a core group of people in my life who never cease to amaze me. When I’m high, they’re high. When I’m down, they’re below me if only for a second to gain enough room to pick me up and bring me back to where I need to be. They’re the kind of person I can call no matter the hour, no matter the situation and I know it won’t be answered in annoyance or ignored. If I needed anything – from a kidney to a cup of sugar or even a hug – nothing would keep them away.
I’ve got some extremely fun friends. They are the people I can always count on to keep me laughing and entertained. It doesn’t matter if we’re headed out for a night on the town, taking an impromptu trip to do something unordinary or just hanging out doing something completely normal – we have a damn good time. I usually don’t see these people on a regular basis but we always seem to pick up right where we left off.
I’ve got some really soulful and insightful friends. They are the people I turn to when I need heartfelt advice or encouragement. They are my companions when I want to spend some time appreciating the arts or having an intellectual conversation over a great meal or a few drinks. They reignite my love for culture when the fire has died down to embers and needs more air.
I’ve also got needy friends, whiny friends, unreliable friends, selfish friends and immature friends. In spite of their non-desirable characteristic, at some point they bring or have brought something good to my life. I’d like to think I’ve done the same for them, that possibly I am one of those aforementioned people in their life who brings some sort of consistency to their world.
It’s funny how the types of friends we choose to keep close have changed throughout the years. Kids are drawn to other kids with the coolest toys and the fun house, teenagers are drawn to other teenagers who share their pastimes (good or bad) and accept them for who they are. Young adults? Sometimes they’re drawn to just about anything as they continue to struggle with the ever open-ended question of, “Who Am I?!”
Being in my mid-twenties I still struggle with that question and figuring out what the heck kind of path God has me going down. The lesson here is this: don’t waste your time running toward the crystal ball just over the horizon. You know that one with all the answers? You just end up out of breath, sweaty and feeling like it’s the day after Christmas because all the hype you blew up like a big red balloon has suddenly been deflated and is whizzing around the room with the air sputtering out. Then it drops to the ground and all you’re left with is a saggy piece of rubber.
I like the float theory better. My Mum always said friends – and people in general – are like bubbles. We all just float around and bump into each other forming bigger bubbles. When the time is right, we float away and join another set of bubbles. We’re ever contracting and expanding. My 25 years have seen some great combos and some not-so-pretty formations. Perhaps the only saving grace is knowing that I’ve got more than a few good bubbles out there and the possibility of many more to float my way.
Random Friday Facts!
October 30th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
In the spirit of Friday, I thought I’d give you five fun, random facts about me.
Or maybe I am running late today and this is all I have time for??? Hmm..
Anyway! Let’s get to it!
1) I am a diehard fan of Sex and the City. Actually, diehard doesn’t do it justice. I think the show is brilliant, the writers are brilliant, and SJP is a talented, beautiful woman despite what anyone says. Many people already know of my obsession (told you I have an addictive personality) but if you have ever had more than a few conversations with me, chances are you’ve heard me say, “This is just like the episode of Sex and the City where….remember that?” as if everyone watches the show like I do. (Really, they should). Want to see how much I love it?
Yes, that is in my house. We made it for a SATC meets Breakfast at Tiffany’s housewarming party, and it just stuck.
2.) Despite my love of movies, I have not seen many American classics like “The Godfather,” “Rocky” (any of them), “Annie Hall,” “Casablanca,” “Gone with the Wind” and I have not watched many of the ’90s cult classics in entirety like “Dumb and Dumber,” “Black Sheep,” etc. I would love to make it a mission to start watching these, I just never seem to find the time. Maybe I should get NetFlix after all…
3.) From birth to 25 I have lived in four major cities (Pittsburgh, Baltimore, DC, Philadelphia – some very briefly) and one small, small town. I am most certainly a country girl at heart, city girl by dream. Right now, I could not move to a small town, nor could I ever return permanately to my hometown, but I credit a lot of my solid qualities to growing up there. I would love to live in New York City some time in my life, even if just for six months. I went there for the first time last fall and I fell in love. I could not wipe the smile off my face the whole time, and despite terrible weather, I sat on the roof of my tour bus (the only one besides the tour guide!) in a drenched poncho,camera in hand, enjoying every minute of it.
4.) Growing up, I collected anything that had on it or was an actual cow. I had figurines, little tins, stuffed animals, a journal, stationary – you name it. I don’t know where all of it went to be honest, but for several years that was the way to my heart.
5.) My former boss told me one of the reasons she hired me is that I am very loyal and when I build close relationships, I keep them for a lifetime. She was right and I feel very blessed to have special friends from all over the country and different times of my life.
I wish I could put pictures of everyone special up. If you’re not here, there will be a time and place for you!
Happy Friday, I know mine will be now!
