Inventory
September 20th, 2010 § 13 Comments
Before I get into anything here, I just want to extend the most sincere and warmest thank you that is possible to send out across the Internet, into the many spaces of it that you all occupy. The support on my last post was amazing and unexpected. I always say how much of a blessing this community is and I mean it! You all are such a light in my life.
Now, onto something else that brings me so much joy and light – my faith. It’s been awhile since I shared a story from my pastor and that’s partly due to the fact that I don’t live in Pittsburgh any more. However, I do have the ability to watch one of the services streaming live on Sunday. As much as I’d like to actually find a home church here, every Sunday I find myself pulling up a cup of coffee to my laptop and tuning in. Not once have I regretted it.
This week, my pastor spoke about something I think we could all put a bit more focus toward. There were many relevant points in his message but the resounding theme was this: audit your life space.
What does that mean? It means something different to everyone, I suppose. In general, it means take a look at what’s in your every day, and that not only means your relationships, your job, your family and your peers, it means your mindsets, your attitudes, your behaviors, your emotions.
How many of them are preparing you for the next promotion in your life? Again, think outside the box on this one – “promotion.” This doesn’t necessarily mean a job. To me it means the next higher level of something you really want in life.
On the opposite side of the spectrum – how many of those things are weighing you down? My pastor compared it to boarding a flight. Before you can even head down the jetway, if you’re carrying on luggage, it has to meet a weight requirement. If it exceeds the maximum, you have two choices. You can either empty some of its contents or you can pay a higher price to check it.
I don’t know about you, but I hate baggage fees (sorry Southwest does not apply to this lesson) and I will do anything in my power to keep my bags light and able to fit in the overhead compartment, even if it means forsaking a pair of shoes or a third pair of jeans for my 2-day trip.
When it comes to life, then, why are we so headstrong in packing it with so much unnecessary weight? Everyone’s answer to this is again, different. For me, it’s because I have suffered from Superwoman Syndrome far too many times in my life. I wanted to do it all, be it all and still maintain some pep in my step. I had a high-stress job in management, often times working well over 40 hours a week – and it was no 9-to-5 job. For the better part of the last year I was training for a race. I tried several times, and to no avail, to foster a romantic relationship. I agreed to every lunch date, every night out, every social opportunity. I absolutely loved my time in Pittsburgh, don’t get me wrong. But I was burning out fast. I had anxiety through the roof, I couldn’t sleep at night, so many days and nights were filled with tears. I thought the only way for me to be happy was by way of a well-paid job, a planner full of activity and a phone that never stopped ringing. I prayed and prayed and asked for a sign – my promotion – and my move to Texas was the answer.
It’s been quite the slow down here. I’m only working part-time. I run when I can. I have very few social engagements to commit to. I’m certainly not looking for any relationship right now.
It’s not been easy, but I asked for this. It’s my “norm” for now.
I evaluated my life space and I got rid of the extra jeans and shoes in my bags. I freed up some space, handed over my boarding pass and took my place in seat 13A – because you know homegirl ain’t payin’ $25 each way to check her luggage.
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The Salad Dressing Theory
February 17th, 2010 § 13 Comments
Well here we are, half-way through the week and homegirl has yet to make an official appearance on The Twenty-Fifth Year. Imagine me taking a huge *sigh* right now. I know, and I tend to beat myself up over the close/long-distance relationship I have with my blog. You see, I have worked quite a stretch without a day off due to weather and the like. Today is the first time I am not driving to work in 10 days. I am by no means complaining, I count my blessings every day I have a job I enjoy and that affords my lifestyle. However, as you can imagine, I am slightly exhausted.
I have a lot planned for today – the first of two days off in a row- including hot yoga at my favorite fab studio. I am using today as my “cross-train” day on my half marathon training plan that I have so graciously stolen from the lovely Morgan (who will be running the Pittsburgh half, too!)
I impressed myself with a 4.0 mile run on the treadmill last night after deciding two miles into it that I was going to quit. I kept looking at the clock and thinking, “No. You’re already here, you might as well do another mile.” Before I knew it, I was clocking in at four! I haven’t ran that far since November so I am very happy I am right on track with my training schedule. I feel like a real runner now! By the way, when I am feeling discouraged I totally channel other bloggers/blends and think, “What would they say if they were on the treadmill beside me and I wanted to stop?” It’s one of the many motivational tools (read: head games) I play with myself on my runs. What do you do to psych yourself out of quitting early?
In other news, I wanted to share with you a wonderful concept my pastor shared with us this Sunday in church. I am not here to preach on anyone, so take this however you’d like.
Oftentimes when we experience a hardship or a “shake up” in our lives, we are confused and frustrated as to why God/the universe/etc. is doing so. Whether it’s a struggle financially, in a relationship, in our family or at work – we want to move as quickly as possible from the struggle to the sunshine. We can feel like we are being punished or cursed for having to endure an unpleasantry.
My pastor explained these times in life by drawing a comparison to salad dressing. When you go to pull an oil-based salad dressing off the shelf to use, you can see the separation – the “good stuff” is on the bottom. Chances are you don’t simply tip the bottle over and pour it out, you shake it up. With the shaking comes the mixture and you get the good stuff.
Think of that bottle as your character. Sometimes the good stuff settles to the bottom. God/the universe/karma/whatever you believe in simply doesn’t pick you up and flip you over. He/it takes you in its hand and shakes you up because there is something inside you – the good stuff – that needs a little movement to come back to the surface.
Think about that for a minute. I can guarantee that there is some facet of your life that is not exactly peaches and cream right now. You’re probably (heck, always) working through something that poses a challenge. You’re being shaken up. Take the negativity and frustration you associate with this and know that you are lucky! Yes, lucky. Something out there – whatever you believe in – sees the good in you and they only want you to shake you up and share you with the world’s salad!
The best thing about these shake-ups? It’s often where the next blessing lies. Having trouble making ends meet? Your blessing lies in a financial gain. Feeling blue post-holidays because you celebrated them solo? Your blessing lies in a companion on the horizon? Frustrated with your work load, your current position or your boss? Change is gonna come.
I love this theory and, of course, can apply it to so many situations I am facing right now. These words from my pastor – as they do every week – inspire me. I hope they inspire you, too. Kind of a fresh way to look at the not so pleasant times and parts of life, no?
Have a little faith in me
October 14th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
Hello again! I want to stray from the fitness/training/running theme of my last few posts and talk about another facet of my life that I am spending a lot of time focusing on in my 25th year – my faith. I actually started exploring it about a year ago when I went to services at a few non-denominational churches. Now, you should probably know that I was raised Catholic. Not strict Catholic to the point where I went to a private school, but I came from a generation of that and a very devout grandmother. She worked hard to raise her six children up in a home filled with faith and continued to share her devotion with her many grandchildren. There have been many times throughout this last year when I have wondered, maybe even worried, what she’d think of me straying away from her beloved faith.
I wasn’t questioning my faith, or even looking to try something different. I kind of stumbled upon it, and being someone who’s very open to new things, I started attending.
Here is how I see it. The rituals of Catholic mass are deeply rooted and the service itself is beautiful. But I can’t help but feel that week after week, it’s the same thing. Sure, the scripture readings are different, the songs change, but the mass is more or less the same week in and week out.
What I like about the services at these non-denominational churches is that they are not predictable. They have order, sure, but I couldn’t sit down in the pew and recite the entire mass word for word with the preacher. (And I know every Catholic knows exactly what I’m talking about) When it’s time for the “lesson” or to read scriptures and reflect, I feel like I am getting so much more out of it. Priests and pastors alike do their best to tie the Bible’s meaning to today’s life, but for some reason I find my mind drifting away in Catholic church. I feel no energy, no inspiration.
Last night, I attended yet another service outside my Catholic upbringing when I accompanied a friend to a revival at a Baptist church. I originally went to attend a Bible study, and when she told me the schedule had changed, I said, “What’s a revival?” She laughed and explained to me that it was just like a regular Sunday service. Friends, I am not going to lie, when I heard the word ‘revival’ I imagined people jumping around, going crazy screaming praises and healing the sick – like something off an evangelistic TV show.
The service was certainly not the quiet, calm ritual of a Catholic mass. There was singing like I have never heard, beautiful voices of a choir 50 strong. People were clapping and dancing and singing and praising and crying, talking right to Jesus and God while the songs were sung and the Bible was read. There was a pastor there who read scripture and preached with more fire and passion than I have ever seen. He brought those words right into 2009 and made the lesson to be learned a real thing. I honestly felt like he was speaking to me. It was amazing.
I am a very passionate person. Having stepped away from the writing world – my passion and what I feel in my heart I was born to do – I felt like some of that passion has died. Like what was once a big burning fire, was slowly being burned down into embers – maybe even out completely. Last night that fire might as well have had kerosene poured on it and a match thrown its way. The time I spent there rejuvenated me. For anyone who feels that way at this very minute or ever, I truly hope they find that way to ignite – and believe me, it doesn’t have to be church or God or even faith – and they welcome the fire. I’m pretty sure Gram would have wanted nothing more.
